This guy contacts me from match.com and the main picture is of him and his two dogs. He asks if he could have my number and I said sure.
Now, he doesn’t call for two weeks. When he finally calls, he catches me a bit off guard as I had completely forgotten what was in his match profile. I do remember the dogs though.
Since I don’t even know what to say and he wasn't starting any type of conversation, I start with the dogs. He tells me their names and how long he has had them. Dead silence after that. Crickets!
Now, I learn it is up to me to continue to come up with some topics to discuss.
I innocently ask, where do you live? He says, Roscoe Village. Then silence. I said, I am very familiar, where bouts? Oh, he said, off of Roscoe (duh). I said, how long have you lived there? He said a couple of years because I moved from Cuba. I said, are you in the military? He said no. I said, then what were you doing in Cuba? His answer, this and that.
I said what do you do for a living? He said, sales. I said, me too, what industry are you in? He said Pharmaceutical. Cool I said, I work with quite a few pharmaceutical companies, which one do you sell for? He says? I prefer not to say.
At this point, my frustration is peaking. I said, are you in the witness protection program or something? He said no, why? I said, I find this conversation incredibly difficult. He said, let me explain.
He told me he went out with a girl recently from match and gave her his card. He admitted to never calling her after the date (even though he said he would). So, she started to pursue him. Apparently, she was even calling other people in his office, etc. to find out more about him.
This girl sounds unhinged for sure. So, now he tells me he is gun shy on giving any information to dates. He said he needs to see me in person to determine if I am psycho.
Interesting…
So I said, you are able to ascertain by looking at someone if they will be a stalker? He said, yes. I said, you are in the wrong business then, you should be selling your methodology of stalker detection. You will be a millionaire!
I was perplexed though, because I don’t think he can pick them very well if the girl that stalked him he did indeed meet in person? But, what do I know?
I told him I believe there are certain risks you take with online dating. I understand his concern. However, when the conversation is so difficult, there really isn’t any point in going further. He said, oh, Sue sorry, it will be different in person. Famous. Last. Words.
I said I have to go and he said call me sometime.
He sure didn't have to worry about me burning up the phone lines or hunting him down. I don't need to be doing all the work in a conversation!
Lesson learned? If it is a very difficult on the phone initially, that will most likely continue. And, I am always concerned when someone brings his past experiences to me. Learn the lesson but don't assume everyone is the same!
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