I joined a new dating website that proved to be fruitful with a whole new crop of men. I decided to not filter anyone and just go out with whomever asked. An experiment in the making.
This guy starts communicating with me and I read his profile and a red flag immediately appeared. His profile said, I am not good with describing myself so I thought I would let my dog do it. His profile is now from his dog’s point of view.
The dog starts saying how good his Master (yes, that word) treats him. It took everything in me to not delete but I was trying to not filter guys.
He calls one night and as I pick up the phone, I hear him saying “it is OK Scooby, you are going to have to share me with Sue, it’s OK”. (oh wait, imagine the worst baby voice as well).
Here we go!
I said, who are you talking to? (like I didn’t know). He said hang on, Scooby wants to talk to you. He proceeds to put the phone down by the dog and says speak Scooby, speak, say hi to Sue.
Immediately annoyed, I asked him if there was a better time we could talk, one where he wasn’t so distracted (even though he called me). He said no, this was fine, he could talk. I am desperately trying to get my point across that dogs don’t talk.
We continue our conversation and he tells me he travels a lot for work and has the best system for finding a hotel. He said he drives around a particular town until he finds a hotel that is available and then haggles the front desk for a great rate. Heavy sigh. I said, what a waste of time! Why don’t you make a reservation in advance? He said, how would I do that? I said, I could think of a million ways starting with the internet. Nope, he likes his system better.
We continue our conversation and he says he has to ask me a question. Sure, bring it on. He said have you ever liked girls? I said, what? He said, do you like to dabble on both sides? I said, no and why would you ask that question? He said, well, my ex-wife left me for another woman so I always have to ask that question.
Finally, I said to him that I had to go because I was going to Vegas that weekend with the girls. He said, do you like to gamble? I said, generally speaking, I have a hard time parting with my money that way. His reply, Sue, I am so glad to hear you say that, that means you are a cheap bastard just like me!
OK, the last straw. I hung up with him and tried to erase the conversation from my head.
He sent me a note the following day asking to go to dinner when I returned from vacation. I thought, hell no. What I said was, I don’t think we are a match, in particular one of my pet peeves are cheap guys and you told me you are one. So, best of luck to you.
Lesson learned? Maybe I should filter. And, I believe I liked his dog better than him.
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