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Writer's pictureThe Sue in the City

The Art of Conversation



I chum the online waters and message a guy from a dating website. We don’t even talk on the phone, we just meet out at a bar by my house to watch football. Perfect.

I walk in and he is sitting at a table. He doesn’t even get up when he sees me, he just stays seated and he already has a beer. (first impression wasn’t great). I sit down and there is no waitress coming over. As I wait about 10 minutes, I ask him if we have a server. Again, annoyed that he isn’t concerned about me. Little did I know.

We start talking and I learn he likes to talk about himself, a lot. Every question I would ask, he was more than happy to answer, and then some. What I quickly notice is that he doesn’t ask me any questions.

Also, I found him very arrogant and judgmental. He would mock girls for emailing him on the dating website because he felt they didn’t live in a nice enough area or weren't cute enough. Although he was very handsome, his attitude turned me off.

So, about 2 hours into the date, I can’t take it a second longer. I said to him, you have yet to ask me one question, what gives? He said, oh, I don’t need to ask questions to tell all I need to know about someone. Judging once again.

Really? The rest of the world must have it wrong then I said. I always thought conversations went two ways, just like a tennis match, back and forth.

During this date, we were watching football around dinner time. Plates of wings, nachos, burgers were all passing by us and he never asked if I wanted anything to eat. At this point, I am not surprised.

I sat there for as long as I could and said we need the check (knowing I shouldn’t take charge, but I had to). The bill comes, it is $27.00. The majority of men would just pay that but I reach in my purse and he didn’t stop me. I put in a $20. He put in $15.00 – I even paid more! Unbelievable.

We start walking out and I said since we live in different directions, see ya. He wanted to go to another bar. I said, no thank you. He apologized for being an introvert as he put it. I would take an introvert all day long over someone who isn't polite.

Small World Update: Two years later, I am at a street festival when this guy sidles up next to me in the beer line. I said, are you cutting? He said no, not at all, I was just looking at the beer. I said, good, I don’t want any trouble here. (tee hee). Anyway, we talk for a couple of minutes, he makes a comment about ruining his Prada shoes at this fest (that is what you get for wearing them to a tent party I thought) and he is there by himself.

Now, he keeps circling the area where my friends are. I see him looking at me and I finally say to him, if you are going to keep walking around us, you should join our conversation. He comes right over.

I am in the middle of a story (shocking, I know) and then when I was done, he and I talk for a little while. He finally says, Sue I cannot believe you don’t remember me? Uh oh, I never even told him my name. He said, we went out by your house at Jake Melnick’s a couple of years ago. Oh snap, it started to sound familiar.

Oops, this town ain’t big enough! I am now recycling guys without even realizing it.

 

Lesson learned? If someone isn’t a gentleman, that is not something that can be taught at this age. Also, try to remember who you date!

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