I met this guy online and his stats were: He was never married, 39 years old (I was around the same age at the time), lived in the burbs and 6'4". He kind of reminded me of someone I met who "got away" so I was really excited.
Our first date was something I try to never do as he wanted me to meet him at a party. I am not a fan of this for a first date for many reasons: 1.) You don’t really get to know someone one on one. 2.) It is usually very loud and difficult to have a conversation and 3.) You end up having to impress his friends in addition to him. Typically very exhausting. But, I was excited to see this guy so I broke some rules.
When I call to tell him I am close to the party he said great, I am outside. I said, awwww, waiting for me? He said no, smoking. HUH? That is a deal breaker for me.
I said, I didn’t know you smoked (definitely wasn’t in his profile?). He said, just when I drink. Still not cool but I was here so I forged ahead.
I meet him and he was very cute and his friends were great. But, he kept leaving me to go smoke. It bugged me. When it was time to go, he walked me to a cab (although, couldn’t figure out if that was because he is chivalrous, or wanted another cigarette) and I was on my way.
He e-mailed me the next day saying he had a great time and can we do something again? I thought, I will give this guy another shot.
That night I had a birthday party to go to so I asked if he wouldn’t mind swinging by. He was great with my friends, very go with the flow, etc but again, he is a serious smoker. He does not have control of it, it has control of him.
As we were talking, I find out he lives at home and is an only child. 39 and lives at home? What in the ever loving Coltee is going on? (for you 90 Day Fiance fans). When I asked why he said because he was living with a girl and they were going to get married but then he found out she was bi-polar so they broke up and he can’t sell the house. I said, why don’t you just live in the house then by yourself? He said because she moved out and would occasionally break in and terrorize him. Interesting.
Then, we start talking about phones/blackberries. He said he didn’t want to get a blackberry because he couldn’t keep what he wanted on there. I said, what do you mean? He said pictures, etc. I told him he could, there was a space for it. Well, he then proceeded to bring out his phone and show me many inappropriate pictures from his personal collection. A phone it is.
He then decided to argue with me about blood alcohol content and DUI’s. He told me he had two DUI’s recently and he said he can handle a .08 vs. a 100 pound person’s .08. I said, that is the whole point, it takes all of that into consideration. Perhaps you need 4 beers to get to .08 and someone who is 100 pounds needs two? He told me I was wrong. I am quite sure the police department has this figured out more than us.
I am sure you will be shocked but, I was having a party and in my spirit of being an optimist, I thought it would be fun to have this guy as part of the group. I can be a slow learner at times.
I told him we were going on a boat so it is a bring your own as far as alcohol. You guessed it, he shows up empty handed. I point out a place he could go grab some beer at and he said he would do it later. So, of course I end up clearing my fridge to try and bring enough for the both of us.
Speaking of clearing my fridge, we went on my balcony before the boat and I had one beer in the time he had 5 (not kidding) in about a half hour. I told him I didn’t think I had enough drinks for the two of us if he keeps up at this pace. The DUI’s are beginning to make sense.
We get on the boat and he is obnoxiously smoking and drinking, drinking and drinking some more. Towards the end of the night, he falls down the stairs of the boat. He was very drunk and it wasn’t like the boat was rocking, we were docked so no real reason for him to fall. He starts blaming the stairs. Yes, 25 people have made it up and down the stairs successfully all night. I am sure there is a problem with them. NOT! I ask him to have a seat and a bottle of water.
Needless to say, he would not take my water nor have a seat. I felt like I was negotiating with my 5 year old niece. No, I take that back, my niece would listen to me. He would defiantly chug his beer in front of me like a teenager.
Now I was worried I would have to ruin my night because of this JackA$$. A bunch of us wanted to go for drinks after the boat. We started to walk there and he grabbed a rolling cooler of mine (to be the gentleman of course) and I had a back pack. Every 10 feet, he would drop my cooler. He said the cooler wasn’t made properly, nothing could ever be his fault. I told him he should carry my back pack and I will take the cooler. He told me to quit emasculating him. I told him to act like a man and be able to carry something. Oh what a night!
We get to the bar and he orders us two double vodka lemonades. I told him I didn’t want that, I was done drinking. Then, we were getting ready to leave and he starts arguing with the waitress that he already paid when he didn’t. None of us saw him pay. Stay classy my friend.
The next day he called to tell me how much fun he had the night before. I am wondering if we both did the same thing? I found him exhausting.
What strike is this? I really wanted to like this guy. But, he gone!
Lesson learned? When someone is almost 40 years old and you have to babysit him, let him go. Otherwise, it will be a long life of aplogizing for his behavior and it ends up ruining your fun too!
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