We are going to pick up this story where we left off the last time. I was set up with this guy in my neighborhood in FL who is single. Our first meeting was fine but awkard. He mostly talked about himself so I wasn't really feeling it.
I told him I would call him when I returned from some trips and I never did. I then saw him at the neighborhood food truck and he wouldn't even look in my direction. He completely avoided me and I felt bad.
After the food truck, I sent him a text and said sorry we didn't catch up tonight but we should grab a drink sometime. He said, that sounds great. So, a week later, he came over to my place to sit outside and have a cocktail.
We did have a nice conversation and it wasn't nearly as awkward. I learned he hasn't had many adventures outside of New Jersey and Florida and had a sheltered life with travel. He put all of his energy into working night shifts so he could retire at 55 years old. Of course, my barometer with a sheltered life is when I learned he never heard of an Italian Beef Sandwich. LOL! He tried to tell me it was an Italian Sausage or Philly Cheesesteak. No and no.
He did bring me a bottle of Chocolate Wine which ended up being the surprise of the evening. It tasted like a Chocolate Martini and I loved it.
At the end of the night, he said we should do this again some time and I said great. So, the next Saturday night, he came over for more drinks.
This is when things went a little sideways. I don't know if he kept the crazy hidden for awhile and just couldn't do it any longer - or - if he thought this stuff was no big deal. Here goes:
We were watching the NCAA tournament on TV. There was a girl who was singing the National Anthem and was wearing a tank top and clearly didn't shave under her arms. He said, I can't stand that when a girl doesn't shave. He said, look at me, I shave everything. He proceeds to lift his shirt and show me under his arms. They are completely bare. He went on to say the only part he doesn't shave is his back. Only because he can't reach. He seemed like he was looking for a volunteer. Hard pass.
He got up to throw away an empty beer bottle. I said, the second garbage can is recycling. He said, I don't recycle. I said, how come? He said, I don't even take my garbage to the curb. (we have garbage pick up twice a week BTW). I said, what do you do with your garbage? He said, every day I find a dumpster to put it in in the neighborhood. I am not messing around with putting garbage on the curb. Hmmmm, the plot thickens.
He then went on to say not only doesn't he use garbage cans, he also doesn't shower in his own shower. I said, where do you shower? He said, the healthclub. I said, you go every day? He said yes. I said, doesn't showering in a public shower every day gross you out a bit? He said, no, I wear flip flops. I said do you go to LA Fitness? He said, and pay $40.00 a month? That is ridiculous. I go to Planet Fitness and pay $15.00 a month. He said why in the world would I dirty my own shower if I don't have to?
It occured to me his garbage habits are probably a cost saving effort.
He was looking on his phone for a picture and couldn't find it. He then thought it was stored on Facebook but got mad when he couldn't find it on Facebook either. He told me that Facebook deleted his entire profile and when they did, they deleted all of his pictures. I said, why would Facebook delete your profile? You guessed it, a derogatory post regarding politics. The world is trying to silence him he said. Heavy Sigh.
He then went on to show me pictures of his gun collection. He loves FL because they just passed a law where you can just always conceal and carry, you don't need to register. He said he has never felt more at home.
I decided it was time to lighten up the conversation so I asked him for his favorite pizza place in the area as I am still trying to find one. He said, oh that is easy, Hungry Howie's. I said, why do you like it? He said, it is an all you can eat Buffet. He said you start with a salad and can have as much as you like and they have every kind of pizza you can imagine. If you don't see a pizza you like, he said they will make you one. Then, you have pizza for dessert too. They have cookie pizza, brownie pizza, etc, etc. He said, guess how much for all of that? I said, I am going to go low because it sounds like you get a deal. I said, $19.99. Nope - $11.99. It includes a soda too. I said, is it crowded? He said, never. I smiled.
He then went on to say he wants to take me to Hungry Howie's before I make my way back to Chicago. I said, I hope we can find a time. (I have a feeling it will be tough).
Lesson Learned? You can retire at 55 if you don't pay for garbage pick up, pay $15.00/month for a healthclub and eat pizza from a buffet for $11.99. For the record, I am sitll looking for a little family run pizza place that isn't a buffet that is awesome. Oh and, Chocolate wine is great!
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