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Writer's pictureThe Sue in the City

Mixed Signals

Updated: Oct 10, 2021




This story is really beyond comprehension. As I write this, I realize it had a life span of 3 years in totality! Here we go.


I went out with a guy from one of my dating websites who I had also seen at Church. I thought, this guy is great, we had an awesome date and many things in common.


However, on the initial date, I should have done one thing differently. I wouldn’t let him walk me home that night. I was in my practical mode and thought it was crazy for him to walk past his car to walk me home a couple of blocks. Silly, I know.


Never heard from him after that date. Son of a %%%%%,


Then, about a year later, I bump into him on the street. He was going shopping and got out of a cab when he saw me so we could chat. Interesting.


I would see him occasionally throughout the years as we did a lot of the same things. Every time I would see him, we would have great conversations and he seemed genuinely happy to see me. He would even text me occasionally with very nice notes.


I recall one of the times I saw him, he was on a date. He introduced me to her and then said, Sue, you don’t have a beer, let me get you one. He then came back with my beer and his date said, I needed a beer. Uh oh. Very awkward, I told her to have mine, but it was too late. The damage was done. It was odd he was paying more attention to me than his date.


I saw him yet again and it was his birthday. We have a great time talking and then at some point, I always think, this guy doesn’t call me, I need to leave. So, I would walk away scratching my head thinking this guy and I are cut from the same mold. Why doesn’t he realize that? I think he is dreamy.


Finally, I am with my friend and we bump into him at a festival. Small world story #592 – my friend’s husband and this guy know each other. They used to work together.


My friend’s husband asked how we know each other? I say that I will let this heartbreaker explain the story and I walk away.

My friend’s husband comes back to me and says Sue, I am so mad at you. I said, why? He said, this guy is aweosme and he said he has liked you for years, but you give him many signals that you aren’t interested. Wait what?


I said you must have completely misunderstood him because that is not true. My friend’s husband said, Sue, he said you broke his heart. I said seriously, this is really cruel for you to joke around like this as I really liked the guy. His wife said Sue, he isn’t joking. He wouldn’t joke like that.


I start thinking back to me not letting him walk me home and all of the times I may have been indifferent. Maybe it is true? On the outside chance it is, I need to get a hold of him because I am giving him the wrong signals completely!


So, out of my comfort zone, I call and ask him out. He said, that would be great, let’s go to a bar by your house. Awesome.


We go out and 3 hours felt like 3 minutes. We have a great time. He was fun, funny, chivalrous, family oriented, successful, everything a girl would want. As we walked home (I let him this time), he even walked on the outside of the street. Loved it.


He said next time we go out, we will have to do shots. Next time? This is going well.


That week he texts me to meet him out. I had already had plans but thought that was a good sign. The following week I was having a party and thought, perhaps I should include him and see what happens?


He calls me the day before my party, I am thinking he is canceling. No, he is wondering what he can bring? Good news, he is still coming. He then says (are you sitting down) do you have room for an extra person? I said sure, the more the merrier. Good, he says I have a friend in town. SHE will be in for a couple of days.


SHE? What is he doing? He couldn’t be bringing a date to my house – right?


Well, I talk to my friends about it and they all reassured me that he would never bring a date to my house. They said they would just go to dinner and not a party. I agreed and thought perhaps this was just a friend.


The next day they show up. I thought if this is a date, we are polar opposites as far as looks. She was a petite brunette and, I am not. And, they aren’t being very cozy but I am definitely trying to assess the situation. What is going on?


We tour my house, etc. and the girl is nice and I am still having a hard time figuring out what the story is. Although, she doesn’t live here, has no family here and no place to stay. Hmmm – I am thinking she is staying with him. Something is off. My spidey senses are up.


Then, the two of them sit down and I see her go in for the lean. What? Then, he grabs her hand. Are you kidding me? He brought a date to his date’s house? I mean – certainly, we weren’t exclusive or anything close – but – he had multiple chances to say he was dating someone. Especially when he asked if he could bring her? He clearly stated they were friends. Why I aughttaa...


This was so not fair to either of us girls and quite arrogant in my opinion. And, I could have easily blown his cover. Makes no sense. What an awkward position he put us all in.


Either this guy is downright mean or, doesn’t know enough to come in out of the rain. Perhaps a combination.


As I was cleaning my house after the party, he was trying to help. My friend said to him, I think you have done enough. Classic.


The next day I sent him what I like to call a "heat seeking” email. I set him straight and told him how disappointed I was with what happened. Never heard from him again and wasn’t surprised about that. HE GONE!


Lesson learned? Guys aren’t that complicated and they go after what they want. No need to ask a guy out because it will then be forced. And, I need to learn to be more direct with my signals!



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