I have been super fortunate to escape the Chicago winter and spend a couple of months in FL. I am in a subdivision that has lots of activities including a Club House with a bar/restaurant, etc. One of my favorite things to do is to take the golf cart to the club house to swim and have dinner. In case you are wondering, this isn't a retirement community, there are people of all ages.
Many times I am at the Club House with a friend or neighbor. However, I recently went by myself which is actually my favorite. Sometimes my best work occurs when I am alone. Sometimes.
After my swim, I went up to the bar and there was only one barstool left. I asked the guy sitting to the left if the seat was taken? His answer, hopefully by you. Game on.
The first thing he said is, can I buy you a drink? I was like, sure. I ordered a tequila soda and he was drinking beer. This only matters for when the bill comes. Stay tuned.
I very quickly learn a lot about this guy. He is a midwesterner, has a couple of kids and is currently single. He doesn't like the dating apps and says it is hard to meet people. He couldn't believe I sat next to him and was passing out the compliments to me like candy.
He was even more obsessed with the fact that we both have the same color eyes. He thought the universe worked this out for us and that this was the best thing to have in common.
He also couldn't believe I was single and never married. When he asked me why I was still single I gave my usual reply. "Because ask me what I am doing Saturday night?" He said, "what are you doing?" I said, "anything I want"....
I was on my first drink, and he might have been on his fourth or fifth. Hard to tell but he was very forgetful as he was asking me the same question several times and was far too much in my personal space. I quickly found all of it draining.
I ordered dinner and this is where things started to get even more weird. He kept watching me eat. I asked him if he would like some onion rings? He did of course (well, who wouldn't) but I was annoyed with him continuing to stare. The stare was also mixed with his hand around my chair, and he kept trying to hug me. I have known this guy for 30 minutes.
Do you think I could keep quiet about this? Spoiler alert - I could not.
I said, why are you staring at me and trying to hug me? I barely know you. He said, should I just look forward? I said, that would be my preference. I said I am just trying to have a nice peaceful meal and you are killing my vibe.
He said sorry, I am just a nice guy. And also, I am fun. Aren't I fun? I said, you are fine. You are just very forward, and it is a little off=putting. He said, nice guys finish last.
He then said, I want to take you out tonight to hear live music. I said, absolutely not. I am staying in tonight. He said, what about next week? I said, I am not sure, I have lots to do before I leave. (I am leaving in one week for Chicago).
He said, I can't believe I just met you when you were here for 3 months? When are you coming back? I said, next year. He said, I want you to come visit me this summer. And we can also go on vacation together.
He said, where are you staying next year? I said, the same place. He said, cancel your lease and stay with me. I said, did you just ask me to move in with you? He said, well, I could leave if you need space, I travel a lot. I have a 3-bedroom house. We could make it work. He said, I will only charge you $3,000 a month.
I said that price is too high. He said, I can work with you on that. I said, it could be free. and the cost is still too high. He didn't quite understand that, but I wasn't about to explain it to him either.
I said, why would you want some strange person living with you? He said, I can already tell I would like living with you and you would like living with me. Because I am a fun guy, right? I said, if you have to ask (and ask continuously)...
Now, I am ready to get on out of here. I just didn't feel like playing defense any longer. He asks for his check and then looks at the cost of my drinks. He said, you know your drinks are twice the cost of mine. (For the record, it was March Madness so his beers were $3.00 and my tequila sodas were $6.00).
I called the bartender over and said, please switch my drinks to my bill. The guy says, no it is fine. I make a lot of money as I make $250,000 a year. This is nothing.
It happened to be my favorite bartender and he said no, I am leaving them on his bill. The bartender made me smile. The bartender knew I put my time in. They always know.
But, if the money is nothing, why did he bring it to my attention?
He said he wanted a picture of us, and I obliged. He then takes my phone and sends it to himself. The easiest way to get someone's number. Does he think I just fell off the turnip truck? I don't ever really care because I can always block. Which, I may have to, someday.
He wanted a ride home in my golf cart and I said fine. I wanted to be sure he was dropped on his doorstep. I wasn't even home yet and he was already texting.
I had to tell him I wouldn't be able to see him before I left. I said I was too busy.
Lesson learned? A song kept playing in my head as I was talking to him and it was: "Desperado, why don't you come to your senses?" If he would have taken his foot off the gas a little, I would have maybe gone out with him. I do think he had some good qualities, but he also made me uncomfortable, so I had to go with my gut on this one. And, if only the same color of eyes was an indicator - for anything!
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