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Writer's pictureThe Sue in the City

Going Viral


Are you on Tik Tok? Did you hear of the situation going on in New York City a couple of weeks ago? Basically, one New York girl went out with a dude and posted her experience on Tik Tok and to say it has gone viral, is an understatement.


This girl said he wasn’t a good guy to date (putting it mildly). She met him on hinge and as it turns out, he went out with many, many women in New York City from online dating. They discovered this because of the initial Tik Tok post, and all of these girls began to come forward and create their own Tik Tok posts! As they are comparing stories, they learn he uses the same “schtick” on them all. Embarrassing for him for sure.


Unfortunately, he had the name of where he worked in his hinge handle so, the dots were connected easily. This Tik Tok has had over 30 million views from the initial post. I am sure many more now.


I don’t even want to name the guy now because I kind of feel bad for him (shockingly). I mean, he might be a jerk to date, but I don’t think he should lose his job over it which I heard might be happening. So, let’s make up a name and call him Pottery Barn Tom.


PBT has been accused of many things from these girls, including:


· Love Bombing (over the top affection at the beginning of dating)

· Going out of his way to charm and then ghost

· Sending his date(s) he doesn’t know well unsolicited, inappropriate pics

· Gaslighting (undermining a person's perception of reality)

· Serial dating and serial ghosting

· Creating special spotify play lists for each date (spoiler alert, they were all the same lists)

· Naming furniture after his dates because he is a designer. Allegedly.


All of his dates started putting together timelines and figured out he was with one in the morning and another that evening.

Once the post went viral, here is what happened:


· PBT had to delete everything on social media. Hinge, LinkedIn, his personal design website, etc.

· Many companies are trying to capitalize on this by saying use his name at check out for a discount.

· The poor social media manager from this store must be having a rough time with all of the #hashtags.

· Many different posts from Girlies (as they call themselves, basically other singles across the US) from DC and San Fran mobilizing and ready to support these "victims" from afar. They stand with their NYC sisters in solidarity in sharing disgust for this serial dater.

· His handle is now being used as a new term. Who is the PBT of Chicago? Or Philly?

· Girls are putting in their profile, if you are a Pottery Barn Tom, swipe left.

· His work was getting harassed by Internet “enthusiasts”.


I bet you are thinking, what does this have to do with you? Good question. I was reminded by a friend that I was in a situation like this years ago.


My friends and I are at an intimate condo party in Chicago. We start talking about dating (naturally) and we start to realize that two of us went out with the same guy from match.com. Then, it was 3 of us. And so on and so on. Come to find out, with this small party of maybe 15 people, 7 of us went out with the same guy.


How did we connect the dots? His handle. It was another catchy handle. I won’t reveal the actual name but will make up something similar. Let’s say it was ISU Goof.


As we are at this party, everyone is overhearing us talking about ISU Goof saying, I went out with him too! It was almost unimaginable that we could put together 7 people in such a quick time and with a small crowd.


Most of us only had one date with the guy. And he for sure had good taste if it was my friends (😊) but, I remember my date with him like it was yesterday.


We certainly weren’t a match and what stood out the most to me during our date was that he was in heating and air conditioning for work. When he heard I work for a large corporation, he started asking me who does our heating and air conditioning in all of the buildings we own? Um, I have no idea? He wanted to know if he could call me in the future to find out so he could pitch his company.


No, that is not going to happen. I have zero interest in any of this. I told him, I am sure we have the heating and air conditioning covered. Thanks but no thanks.


Fortunately, social media was not around at that time so we couldn’t uncover how deep ISU Goof’s dating escapades reached but I am quite sure it was a lot. And, he is happily married now to someone who was not part of the 7 people at the party.


Lesson Learned? Serial daters should be careful (me included) and just be nice so that no one has anything to complain about! And, I need to watch the Tinder Swindler next on Netflix! BTW, the picture on this story was found as a result of the story in NYC.


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