I am on many online dating sites! Now, I wish I would go off of them but honestly, it is the only sure way of meeting many guys quickly. So, I just stay on the darn things.
I had this guy who checked in every couple of months saying we should go out. Every time I gave him my phone number, he never called. This went on for over a year. He seemed nice enough but never pulled the trigger.
Finally, he gets a hold of me and we make plans. We decided on a Saturday night. As he asks me to pick where we should go, I decide on a place one block from my house (if you are going to ask my opinion, it will always be close to my house). We were meeting at a nice outdoor cafe.
Now, I should tell you my mind set this particular summer. Unfortunately, in Chicago, there have been many robberies where 5 to 10 people bum rush you and steal your phone, purse, etc. So, to say I was a bit on edge in my neighborhood was an understatement.
Now, I head over to the outdoor cafe and my date texts me to tell me he is parking his car. I am just getting ready to text him back to tell him I am at the cafe when I feel someone come up from behind me and shake me. Well, since I was already on alert, I almost hit the trees when that happened. I look, it is my date. Not the best first impression on my end as my heart is pounding. Heart pounding not in a good way for sure.
I am also shocked how he was 100 percent sure it was me? Seemed risky and he almost had an elbow to the face.
Anyway, we sit down and now I am somewhat relieved he approached me that way as I would have NEVER recognized him! He was about 50 pounds heavier than his picture and his hair was gray. Now, I don’t have a problem with either of those things, but he clearly posted an old photo.
We sit down and I ask him why it took so long for us to meet. He said because he was trying to lose weight first. I appreciated the honest answer but realized even he knew he didn’t look like his pictures.
We start talking and I couldn’t remember what he did for a living but knew his profile said he had a job. I ask him and of course, he has been out of work for 8 months. Heavy sigh. Yet another inconsistency. He is a banker and said no one will take his salary requirements. As we sit in Chicago, I bet there were 10 banks within a couple block radius. Hard to believe he couldn’t find a job?
He then starts talking about how he doesn’t like his family. Great, one bad story after another. Not endearing to me.
We order dinner and I am now realizing that his car is parked in a meter. I tell him he should get back to his car within the two hours because they will ticket. He pays for dinner and agrees he should head home.
As we leave the restaurant, he asks me what I am doing the next day. I told him I was pouring beer at a street festival. He asked which one, I tell him and am on my way. He asked if we could do this again and I said yes even though I wasn’t really up for it. (not very clear on my part, I know).
The next day I get to the street festival where I am pouring beer with friends. As soon as I arrive, they all want to know how my date went. I was getting ready to tell the story when I realized there is an undercover cop in our booth who I didn’t know. I say to the cop, I am so sorry, you are about to hear a bad date story. He said, I am married with three kids, bring it on!
I tell them he startled me, didn’t look like his picture, doesn’t have a job and doesn’t like his family. And, those were the highlights! Generally, he had more problems than a math book.
They all laughed and said better luck next time. I agreed. Meanwhile, we are pouring beer where it is one for us and one for our customers. Otherwise known as a slow day on the job.
Just as our shift was about to finish, I look up and there is my date from last night standing in front of me! I couldn’t believe it. For fear of my friends putting it together that this was the guy from last night, I pull him to the side to say hi.
No sooner do I pull him to the side, I hear the cop say, Mike, is that you? The two of them hug hello. Uh oh, I never said my dates name, how does the cop know him? Small world story number 3,031, the cop and my date are friends. Gasp!
I run over to them and split them apart quickly. I ask Mike to go to the band so I could meet up with him later. He reluctantly agreed. The reason why I was so nervous was in my day drinking mind, I was thinking the cop would say, you need to meet my new friend Sue, she was on a bad date last night! I was so worried that might happen unintentionally.
Mike leaves and I turn to the cop and say, I am afraid I am on the verge of offending you but I have to tell you what just happened. I said, I know it appears you are good friends with Mike, well, he was my date last night. The cop started laughing and said really? Mike? I said, yup. The cop said, I don’t picture you with him at all. He is a total tool. Whew, I can’t believe it, my instincts were correct!
I just got the heck out of there. The next day, Mike left me a message that he had a work question for me. I had my assistant call him back because I did not want to deal with it. She kept emailing me that he wanted to conference me in. No way, not going to happen. That was the last I heard from him.
Lesson learned? Even though Chicago has millions of residents, it ain’t big enough! And, trust your instincts.
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