I ended up joining a dating website where you need to pay for membership. I have spent so much time on free sites, I found you tend to get what you pay for, nothing. My current hope is that if someone has more skin in the game by reaching in their pocket, it will be a better outcome. I mean, in theory…
So, I re-joined Match.com, old school style. I was a member of this dating site many, many moons ago. I don’t remember how long my hiatus was but, it was time to check out the talent again.
I do recall one of the reasons why I went off Match was that it felt a little too much like ordering a car.
You could search for someone based on information like eye color, salary, and best feature. I mean, who doesn’t like a guy with good calves? But it just didn’t seem like I need that information upfront.
The other thing I found on Match was that I was ruling people out for grammatical errors. And because people wrote paragraphs, there were plenty!
So, I got off Match and joined Tinder, Bumble, etc. With these sites, it was more of a quick decision with less information. I very much enjoyed the swiping because it was like catching someone’s eye as you walk down the street. You don’t really know their story, but you want to know more.
When I think back of my early online dating days, there was a bit more pressure on the situation. At that time, I kept thinking I would meet someone and have kids, so the biological clock was ticking. Once that clock stops, you realize there really isn’t a rush. I thought that pressure was gone forever.
However, being back on Match, I find myself knowing too much information again. I have found that there seems to be an unusual number of guys in their 50’s who are retired. It has been very surprising and also a bit concerning for a girl like me.
Have I found another clock that is ticking? The retirement clock?
I want to work another 10 years. Can I start a relationship with someone who never has to set an alarm and every day is a Saturday for him? Would I be happy for his schedule, or would it drive me crazy?
I remember when I was just out of college and my roommate was a teacher. I can’t begin to tell you the resentment I had when all summer she was sleeping in, and I was out the door at 6:30am to start my commute to work. I know it was irrational and unreasonable resentment but, it was still there.
People tell me with the right person, it won’t matter if he is working or not. I still say it might.
What do you think? Change my mind!
Lesson learned: As you go through life, the pressures don’t become less, they just change. You have to dig deep to see what qualities in a partner will complement your life, not complicate it!
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